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Jane proved invaluable to us, she showed me how to claim back money we'd paid out for items which would become company assets by the system of taxation in our country, she showed a hard side to her personality when dealing with the builders renovating the pub, it was raining one afternoon when we arrived to see how they were progressing, it was only a light drizzle but we found them in their site hut drinking tea and playing cards,"Hi boys" she said cheerfully, "I hope you're all winning, because you're not getting paid while you're in here"One of the gang, a big Irish guy named Sean, stood up and growled,"We either get paid while we're on site, or we all fuck off now"I pushed Jane to one side gently and said in as calm a voice as I could muster,"Number one Sean, never, ever swear in front of Mrs McCready again, number two, what she says goes, it's my money she's talking about and I'm not about to pay you for playing bloody cards and number three, if you care to argue, just step. He looked fine, apart from one immediately obvious thing."Dad," I said, closing the door. "You're dressed up as a woman."It was a pretty pointless observation to make. My dad, my 79 year-olddad, was wearing a knee-length pink floral patterned cotton dress. Hischest bulged with a fake bust. His legs were encased in thick, tan-coloured tights, and on his feet were a pair of black court shoes withtwo inch heels. His once bushy eyebrows were now pencil-thin, and therewas makeup on his face. A short grey wig sat on his head."Dad," I said, sitting down. "I didn't know. How long have you been doingthis?"Dad slumped down in his armchair, shaking his head. "You've got the wrongend of the stick, Charlie," he told me. "I've never done this before.Honest."I found that hard to accept. Dad's makeup was very well done, certainlybeyond his ability to do without a lot of practice. His eyelashes hadbeen darkened with mascara, and the pinkish eyeshadow and lipstickmatched his dress perfectly. He was.
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