He left. Fine he left. Said it was my fault. I agreed. But only to him. I can’t blame myself. There was more to it than that. So much more. But that’s the way it goes. He’s over and done with me and I sit here rotting. Waiting for the scar tissue around the hole in my mind (where all of the things I believed about him have been distorted, warped, changed and ripped out) to harden. Waiting for the scars across my torn fingerprints to close and fade into one of the many lines that say so much without speaking. He worked his way into my fingerprints. Fingerprints do change. They are lives. You can read a fortune upon them and, if you follow the curves, distinguish individual pain. Fingerprints burn and cry and bleed longer, harder than eyes ever could. I wash them daily, my scars and fingerprints. Caress them. Sometimes I see him. Just long enough that he can thrust himself back into my life. Long enough for the wound to be torn farther to add bacteria to the contaminated flesh. I sit. ‘No, it’s not you…’ ‘Is it Lord? Has he done something to you?’ Jack jumped to a conclusion. ‘No no, it isn’t him.’ She had to ease his concern now with some answer. Again, the truth was not that answer, not yet atleast. Although she did intend to be honest one day about her second lover. ‘I’m not sure if I’m pregnant or not…’ It was the only answer she could find instantly. ‘You know, since we had that accident?’ Jack looked at her. ‘You mean? Wait, why didn’t you say something earlier?’ ‘I didn’t want to upset you. It’s a lot to take knowing that you could be the father of my child.’ The more she weaved her tale, the more it felt as if she was deceiving him without due care. He was more surprised than she had expected. Jack stood up from the table and thought deeply. ‘You need positive confirmation. You must have proper tests. I know a brilliant doctor who deals with these things. And if it is confirmed, he could also help us to abort.’ ‘What?’ Helen never expected to hear him.
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