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“Well, hello… Did we forget something?” I asked, not understanding what was happening. She and Bev laughed and then Bev said, “I invited her to stop by after her shift and I would personally give her a Christmas bonus and she agreed!” They both smiled at me as the held hands and I sat there thinking, “Say what?!?!? I am missing something here!” Then Bev turned and took the other woman’s face delicately in her fingertips and she leaned down and kissed her tenderly and yet with passion as I sat there staring with my mouth open. When they came up for air about a minute later, they turned in unison and looked at me. They both tried hard not to laugh as I fought equally hard to disguise my stunned surprise that of all the people in the bar, my wife had selected another woman to have sex with on her “kitchen pass!!!” “You just sit back and enjoy.” Bev said and then went back to kissing the cute young blonde. I watched as the younger woman dropped her hands to the hips of my wife and pulled. T. finally looked up at Tim. ‘You want Layman’s terms? Fine. You can’t get past Leira, and you can’t stop taking it out on Julia. You don’t understand why you do it, neither do I, but we’re men. We don’t talk about it.’ Tim was pretty sure where this was going. He simply waited. ‘Last night, you treated Julia like she was some cheap piece of ass you picked up at the campus bookstore, and still, she acts like you’re the greatest thing on the planet with a penis and two testicles. She doesn’t understand why you do that, and she doesn’t understand why she lets you, but she’s a woman. Three seconds after she locked your door, she was on the phone with my fiancée.’ Tim nodded. ‘Here’s my question, though, J.T.,’ he began. ‘Does something exist out there that has a penis but not two testicles?’ ‘Yes,’ J.T. said. ‘His name is Lance Armstrong. You know – really thin mother fucker, usually wears a lot of yellow in France in the summertime, used to bang the shit out of Sheryl Crow. You ask me,.
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