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And I'd swear she smuggled one of those teeny weeny little video cameras into my house and hooked it into my computer so she could see the webcast of Bob's life. But don't say mean things about her. She's got a crush on me. She can't help it. I'm a loveable guy.But her teeny weeny camera must have had a glitch in it that day she wrote to y'all (that's the way she talks), because she got some of it just dead wrong. But only some of it, which is why I know she's got a camera around here somewhere.So, in my own defense, and to correct the record, I'm writing this story. There'll be some sex in it later, since that's what you signed on for in the first place.People think that writing smut is all sweetness and light and beating off with one hand while you fill pages with erotic content with the other. I don't know how many of you can type with just one hand, but it ain't that easy, let me tell you. And "Herman", as I have nicknamed my manhood, has gotten to the point where, if he's going. “Andi Chance?”“Hello, Lawrence,” said the first girl I ever dated, at the ripe old age of 15. “Thank you for the rose – again.”In fact, she was standing there looking like she hadn’t aged a day, holding a long-stemmed rose just like the one I gave her on our first date. I began scrambling for a towel, but she just laughed in the sweet little giggle I loved when we walked to school each day for about five years.“Oh, please, Lawrence,” she said, happy and delighted. “I have a husband and two sons. Naked men are hardly a novelty any more.”“Hard to believe you have kids,” I said after giving her a somewhat self-conscious hug; it seemed she was even wearing the same dress she wore for our first date. “You haven’t changed a bit.”“You’re sweet, but you’re also full of shit,” she said, smelling the rose and shaking her head. She turned to look in the mirror. “What I see is a middle-aged woman who needs to lose a few pounds and do a better job of coloring her hair.”At that point, I remembered.
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