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We had lunch at the hotel restaurant by the office and suddenly I found myself in a hotel room and Gary was kissing me and I just let it go on and then before I knew it he was having sex with me. I know that you're thinking he drugged me, but that is not true. I was just horny and I wanted it and he was there when I needed some sex. I know it was wrong, but I just couldn't help it. After that first time it just became easier for me to let Gary have his way with me. It was just sex, not even hot monkey sex, there was no love there, I didn't love him, in fact I didn't even like him but the sex was nice, not great like with you, but it was nice and it filled a need I had at the time. But I still love only one person: you.My love for you is all I know, I am having a hard time functioning without you. You were my love and my life. When you hurt your groin I really was worried and then when you got so sick that I had to take you to the hospital, I almost died with grief for you. Then you. No, I hate Terry almost as much as my daughter. Our combined antipathy couldn't scratch Donald's hate for that nigger freak. I say 'nigger' only because Terry tells me to call him that. I'd call him anything he wanted, to get what I hate needing from him. He hates being called a freak, though.I used to call Terry a sad, black man, but never in public. He jangled pennies in a plastic Slurpee cup at me, and I would always add a dollar to it, on my walk to work. His eyes worried me.Nobody looks at anyone, on commuter trains or buses. Going to work, I felt invisible, that my life had no meaning. Even the blowjobs, Donald begged for, since he couldn't mount me for long with his back pain, were sad routine. Stace, like most teens, lived either out of the house or stuck in her room. At least she came out to make our meals. I barely had time to eat them. Her father helped. It took both of them to prepare what he bought from the grocer. She couldn't be trusted with a credit card. We could.
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