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My leg was already telling me that this was a bad idea.We embraced the horror though and I got the rental of a set of clubs and shoes. We had a friend of Bill’s join us for a fourth and the three of them talked about local issues. I was mostly left to concentrate on the game and occasionally brought into the conversation when something less personal was the topic.It was the sixth hole where I started getting questions about my cane. “So what happened?” Jason asked. He was nursing a beer out of the cooler that had taken up residence in the cart we were using.“Car accident,” I told him “SUV t-boned me. Thankfully I wasn’t driving a small car or they’d still be sponging me out of the cracks in the building.”“Fuck!” he said wisely. “That must have sucked. You go after the other driver?”I shrugged. “It gets better all the time,” I said dismissively. “Everything’s settled, but I can’t go into details.”He nodded and the topic moved on to something else. I was just as happy. By the end of. I learned how a disability changes the way people perceive you. I know what it is to be pushed past the point of giving up. A place where you pray to die and mean it. I have been humbled and humiliated. It’s horrible.While it has wreaked havoc in my life I did manage to see some good and learn a few things. It is easier for me to be around disabled people now, especially those who are autistic because we are more similar than not. Simple pleasures are very important. When your mind is cotton or a piece of taffy somebody is pulling it’s hard to focus on a goal that is a year down the road. A bowl of soup, that’s just a few minutes away. It fills your mouth with a burst of warm flavors and fills your belly making you feel good. Soup is important in my life now.Kindness is more important to me, both giving and receiving. One because it feels good and helps others feel good. Two, I have to be careful who I piss off. The face I cuss today may be connected to the ass I have to kiss.
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