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“Good morning, Ted.”The little boy shyly took his hand and shook it. “Good morning, sir.” Then he looked up at his mother and tugged on her hand.“Okay, Teddy. I need to talk to Mister Staniland, but you can watch Ceebeebies. I’ll get you a glass of milk.”“I don’t mind if he stays,” the Vicar said.“Oh, he doesn’t want to miss his favourite programmes, and I would prefer to be able to concentrate on what you’re saying.”He blushed slightly, but allowed her to steer him into the lounge; a pleasant room, but cool. A live fire burned in a stove in the fireplace, but it looked as though it hadn’t been started long before. Rosie returned from the kitchen.“I’m sorry it’s not too warm in here. This house is hard to heat effectively. I lit the fire in anticipation of your coming but it hasn’t had enough time to get established.”“No problem. I was looking for someone to...” he hesitated. “act as a sounding-board, if that makes sense.”She smiled. “And you chose one of the youngest adults in your. Breasts are ludicrous,But lovely,Much like a pair of pantiesRolled down to the knees,No longer clothing,But ornament--When they do not give suckTo infants' needs,Breasts are panties, too,Rolled down to the knees.God or nature,Take your pick,Must have thoughtA million years or soBefore decidingWhere to placeThe buttocksSo as to transformTorso into thighs,Thighs into backAnd belly;We can only wonder howMany millennia HeOr it spent in fixingThe location of women'sBouncing breasts.There is something about a pairOf buttocks, sleek and full and round,That begs for punishment.In a cruel world such as ours,Beauty is as much or moreA liability as it is an asset.Woe be she who is callipygian,For she shall be hunted downAnd impaled upon masculinityBoth merciless and relentless:We live in wicked times!It is impossible for mostTo look upon a seated nudeAnd imagine her at stool;The beauty of her buttocksBelies the thought that she,Like you and me, must answerNature's call to defecate.We would.
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