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You are a faggot!” The words and images bled into my brain. I was so turned on. I felt as if the videos knew me better than I knew myself. Maybe I was a sissy, I thought to myself, maybe I was a cock loving faggot. I have to admit I have had the feelings expressed in the videos, but never thought about them in that way. Never had them thrown in my face so blatantly. I was attracted to Kara, but drawn to Darren’s cock. Maybe I was bisexual, somehow the thought never occurred to me. It always seemed that you had to be one or the other. The was no real middle ground, I thought. But maybe there truly was, maybe not. “One taste of cum and you are a cocksucking faggot for life” one video said. I like girls! I’m a man! I’m big and strong, how can I be a faggot!?! I thought. So confused.I had no idea. People come in all shapes and sizes and all forms of sexual identity. Why should I be any different? Why should I fight my feelings and be so torn? Why should I be so confused? Why should I. That's what I am, I could feel that fact hardening in my soul with every minute I was being Rachel.What didn't feel spooky or amazing was everything else I was wearing. The makeup, the jeans, the... I was stalling. I still needed to put my bra on and I had been delaying, almost wishing I could talk myself into not wearing one at all. Of course if those damn shots from last night had done something I wouldn't be having this conversation with myself now would I! I looked over at the bra and picked it up, gently rotating it in my hand. It was beautiful, lacey and empty. Empty like what I have to fill it...Augh! I grabbed the price tag and ripped it quickly from the bra and then did the same with the T-shirt. I headed for the living room. Last night I had crashed on the couch and just sort of let the breast forms plop onto the floor near the couch. Brad probably thought I was a slob for just leaving my personal items strewn all over the place, I really wasn't like that. As I walked down.
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