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She was a tall, blonde cheerleader with big breasts, round hips, and a well-upholstered behind. (Weight loss and dieting would not become a ruling passion among females for some years yet.) My heartthrob, she was. She made my heart throb, all right. Unfortunately, the reverse seemed not to be the case. She didn't even know who I was and nonchalantly brushed off my feeble efforts to approach her. It was a damn good thing I didn't need to ask her for the the time of day, because she likely wouldn't have given it to me.Why then, did I attend the thirty-fifth anniversary class reunion? Partly out of morbid curiosity and, who knows, I might just get some satisfaction for all the slights I had endured from my former classmates. Vengefulness has been a part of my nature for as long as I can remember.The refreshments could have been better. I've never been a fan of stale pretzels and greasy clam dip. The conversation was stale and greasy, too. Who were these people, anyhow? They were graying. Both the room and my head had stopped spinning but my stomach was still threatening to erupt so it was with great care that I rose to my feet and tottered, still naked from the waist down, back into my bedroom where I threw myself back onto the bed and went back to sleep. It was past lunchtime when I finally dragged myself downstairs dressed only in my bathrobe. I had thrown my dirty top into the washing basket and was running a deep, hot bath to try and help me recover at least some humanity. While the tub was filling I padded downstairs intending to make myself a large pot of strong black coffee but the sight that greeted me as I reached the foot of the stairs froze me to the spot. The house was a pigsty! Dirty glasses and crushed beer cans adorned almost every surface in the lounge, kitchen and dining room; half- empty take-way food trays cluttered the tables and lay on the floor with predictable stains on the carpets. There were empty vodka and tequila bottles in the waste bins.
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