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I never would have told you if it was up to me, believe me, but they are adamant about me telling you," she explained.I was completely dumbfounded and slack-jawed. All I could muster up in the way of a response was:"What??" Oh, Dave, it's a long story, and it all started a very long time ago. I don't want you to worry about it...it's really not that big a deal…" "WHAT??" I repeated."WHAT 'what', Dave? What in the hell do you mean by 'What'??" she shot back, her nerves obviously frayed.I knew I had to think of something intelligent to say, but my mind raced with a million questions. I took a deep breath, and began my interrogation."How long had this been going on before it stopped?" I asked."Oh, it never stopped. It's still going on, Dave," she half-whispered. Again, I was lost. "Dave, remember how I always go over to visit my parents on Wednesday nights? For 'Movie Night'?" I nodded silently. "And I keep inviting you, but you never want to go with me?" I nodded again. She waited a. Then she farted and both Marilyn and I had to rub our watery eyes! “It wasn’t me!” I protested.“No, even you don’t smell that bad. Oh, Dum-Dum, what have you been eating?” Marilyn sat down in her chair and Dum-Dum jumped across to her lap, eliciting an “Ooof!” from Marilyn.“I told Charlie he has to set some priorities. He can’t keep racing and doing Scouting and doing afterschool sports. He has to make some choices.” I explained our conversation.She sighed and agreed. “I know! I mean, there’s his sports and the girls in Brownies and ballet and his Boy Scouts and the church and...” She finished with a line I had heard before. “I need a wife of my own!”I let her run down for a bit before interrupting. “Marilyn, you’re as bad as the kids. You need to make some priorities. You can’t do all this stuff either. You have to tell the kids what you can do and then stick to it! Unless you want to hire a nanny...”“NO!”“ ... then you need to get serious about your schedule. You can’t keep up like.
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