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I get to Japan; chauffeured limo picks me up; five-star hotel; the works. But then I spend three days being bounced around offices at HQ, never seeing anything but low-level flunkies who give me gap-toothed Letterman smiles as interpreters drone on about the power and the glory of Ekasa. Finally on the fourth day they deliver the offer, which is laughable. When I balk, they apologize -- for wasting my time, not for the feeble offer -- and send me off to their labs, where it's broadly hinted that they're cooking up their own polymer.All of which might have been more convincing if I didn't already know that their top two polymer chemists had said sayonara four months ago and defected to a Dutch firm. Don't these guys know everybody's secrets are on the Internet? So I squeezed their toes, threatening to go back home, though I was all smiley-smiley as I said it. Next morning we cut the deal in a few minutes and they apologized again for wasting my time. Sightseeing now, they smile as. Three men and three trucks were all it took. Of course, those three men had to give up their lives, but I promised them personally that I will take care of their families. It was either that or death for them all!" So the oil price will shoot up to 70 dollars a barrel? Good, good! Then my plan to drill for oil in Alaska won't be shoot down again by those idiots in Congress. Thank you Saddam, my friend, what will I or any US Presidents do without you?" The phone went dead, and President George W. Bush smiled at the computer screen as his oil holdings are going through the roof in value.*****"Mr. President?" the aide stormed into the Oval Office as the Al Gore, President of United States looked up from his desk and saw the aide turning on the TV. As always, it was already set to CNN. Then the reporter was saying."This is the breaking news. We have just learned that an explosion has taken place in the crude oil loading dock in Kuwait City, Kuwait. An Iraqi terrorist group is claiming.
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