I remember waking up to aface full of bandages and an aching body, to nurses huddled over medoing this and that with little instruments. And there was thisreoccurring dream of a treadmill. I would be just awake enough torealize I was walking on the treadmill, but my body felt numb. Iremember words of encouragement and instructions from the nurses whowere holding me up, and there was always an odd sensation, like I wasrelearning to walk in an entirely new body and really uncomfortableshoes. As I drifted in and out, the thought of that feeling kept eatingat me, and then one day, for just a moment, I was coherent enough toremember what Wendy had said just before I passed out, how her fatherwas a surgeon bent on revenge, and suddenly I was terrified. Shecouldn't. She wouldn't...I was startled awake by the pungent scent of smelling salts. For thefirst time in who knows how long, I was fully aware, but I couldn't moveand couldn't see anything. I was sitting in a chair, my hands. And so I scanned the room in search of an empty table. "Bar-Telannin!" I turned and saw the Sultana herself, seated at a small table, a wine goblet and bottle set before her. I began to bow but she stopped me. "My name is Sela and only Sela. Will you sit with me?" Speechless I took a chair next to her. Someone dropped off another glass and the Sultana filled it. Together we listened until the musicians rose to take their break. "Are you enjoying yourself?" I nodded, unable to do anything more. And she seemed to understand, and said nothing, but smiled at me and gently sipped her wine. "I enjoyed the last song," she said, "though it sometimes seems melancholy. But a bit of sadness can be sweet as long as it is not real sadness, don't you think?" I found my voice. "I guess such music reminds us of special moments." "Perhaps it does." And she sat quietly for a time, her head swaying to the music. And I found myself noticing how her toga hugged her breasts, small and perfect. I.
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