I’ve thought about medication for anxiety. I’ve talked to my doctor and read through the effects and side-effects. I don’t think meds are the answer. It’s the worst at night. I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired to focus. Sleeping pills don’t help, because I need at least ten hours to burn them out of my system. Even with a shit-ton of caffeine in the morning, I’m still groggy until about ten hours. Since I need that much time and I have to get up at 6:15 to be to work on time, that would mean taking them at no later than 8:15, which would seriously cut into the very, very small amount of time I get to spend with my wife. And believe me, that ain’t happening. Hopefully. And he also wore his hair cut very short, which helped hide any gray that was there. He had a face which made you feel confidence in his character. He was sure Briggs was a man he could confide in – a man who you could rely on for discretion. He had to resolve this, or there would be no sleep tonight. **** Briggs threw the sheaf of papers to one side for the third time. He decided to go over the afternoon’s events in his mind – to review them and try to make sense of what had happened. After the ceremony the wedding party had gone into the Crystal Room below for the reception. The mid-afternoon wedding had meant there wasn’t a sit-down dinner, but the hotel had provided a sumptuous array of finger-food, and there had been an open bar. That may have been part of the problem. He had celebrated a tad too much, and had actually danced to the music, which was definitely not from his generation. He had begun to work up a sweat and had taken a break by going out onto the hotel terrace,.
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