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What's worse, I realized that I was unworthy."Bobbi, this man would have died for me. He saved my life twice. I took him for granted and then humiliated him in public. I cried myself to sleep for a few nights as I thought about my life and realized how much Charles meant in that life. I realized that he was the leading light in our being a couple. I vowed to change to be the kind of person who would try to deserve and be worthy of his love. At the end of the thirty days, I wanted him so badly but still had a streak of nastiness in me. I had apologized and asked, no begged him to take me back."Before he could answer, I pridefully walked out. He had to come out and bring me in. He knew that he would have to punish me sufficiently to remove that prideful rebellion yet not lose the loving woman he knew I could be."Everyone left and he made me lie across his lap and he used a belt to whip my backside until I almost passed out. He then put salve on me and held me as I cried. He loved me. As I’ve said to others, God gave us our senses to observe the world, and He expects us to use them.”“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like I was attacking you.”“I didn’t take it that way. What I was saying is that I believe and that’s all that matters to me. If you don’t want to believe, there is literally nothing I can say to you to change your mind. So, to put it in Clarissa’s ‘earthy’ terms, all I can do is get my shit together and live a life which reflects what I believe. Or, to put it as one of our Saints said — ‘save yourself, and the whole world will be saved’. My job, if you will, is to reflect Jesus Christ in my own life. And unlike that clown who runs around campus condemning sinners, I’ll stick to Jesus’ way and love sinners and condemn self-righteous «мудаки», a prime example being that pastor who runs around campus.”“Mu-da-ki?” Glenda asked.“A-holes,” I chuckled. “Modern-day Pharisees; you know the guys Jesus went off on with regularity. He expressed love for sinners.”“You.
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