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" When was the last time you had to go to the hospital to have a driver removed from your rectum?" I asked. We all laughed and it helped to get my mind back on golf.For whatever reason, I was playing tremendously. I made par on the first four holes and birdied the fifth. Arriving at the tee box on six, Frank said to the others, "When I said he had the honors on the first hole, I didn't expect him to keep them this long."George agreed and Bob just shook his head. They normally shot 5 to 6 strokes better than me and I was up on Frank by 2 and 3 on Bob and George.I made par on six and bogeyed seven. Bob made par and I lost my honors for number eight. I made par on eight and nine. George was on his cell phone as we drove to the snack shop at the clubhouse. I told them what I wanted and went to the bathroom.The sight I walked out to was too funny. Standing at the back door were ten golfers holding their clubs like swords for me to walk under. They were singing Hail to the King. "What the. She borrowed one of the trucks and drove into town to pick up a few things at a fabric store. He was away on business for the day, so she left him a note telling him where to meet her tonight, then drove down the hill to the cabin.The cabin was simple enough but add in a few Martha Stewart-y tricks, including a red sheer over the lamps, and within an hour or so she had turned it into a Valentine's Day hideaway love shack, red curtains and scarlet satin sheets and a pink sheer canopy nailed to the ceiling. She arranged a bottle of wine and two glasses on the table, and then she turned to herself. Opening the hidden package from a supplier of lingerie for "plus-size" women, she took off her clothes and slipped it on-- a red satin teddy which showed her ample cleavage to its best effect, lace panties, red fuck-me heels, a sheer robe with a feathery fringe. Then she turned to dolling herself up-- and she had to say, with enough work she looked pretty damn wonderful. If you were open to.
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