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”“So what happened to the blonde enchantress from Grantham?”Annette was clearly amused at my early passion for Margaret Roberts, for such was her name.“She ignored me. As you can imagine she was much sought after. I followed her around like a love sick pup — which is what she called me—besides another, uncalled for, name.”Annette prompted me. “Go on — what else did she call you?”“She called me ‘a little farmer’s boy with a little sickle’. She said she only wanted grown men with big scythes.”“Well, your little sickle has grown into a huge, wonderful, scythe, and she is the loser. What happened to her?”“An itinerant thatcher, Dennis by name, put her in the family way with his big scythe. She left Grantham for London, and was never heard of again.”“And what of the other love of your life, — Amy Fairfax — did she too berate you on account of the size of your sickle?”“She loved me as I loved her, and we became lovers.”“But you did not marry?”“She would not marry for love, but for position.. He could be thin, fat, gay, straight, male, female... anything at all, and no one would be able to say otherwise. He could create whole new identities for himself and no one would be the wiser. No one would really know that he was just plain Derek Malone: loner, agoraphobe, and virgin.Still, even in this one vice, Derek remained a frugal soul. He bought the cheapest kind of Internet access he could find - dial-up. If he could have found anything at all cheaper that let him stay on the Internet nearly 24/7, he would have used that instead. His Internet connection was barely a step up from free. If he could have found a free service without monthly time limits, then he would have used that. As it was, the cheapest thing he could find that was reliable and banner ad free (he loathed banner ads because he felt that they impinged upon the personal space that was his computer) was the service provided by his local telephone company. The phone service was a remnant from the time when his.
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