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The label execs were nice enough and, although they offered tea, we shared a pot of coffee as we went through the little introduction dance of polite chit-chat, and got down to business. I presented them with a show-reel on DVD that Lappies had knocked together for me, and the four of us watched it, as various well-known music stars serenaded, crooned or belted out my songs on various videos they’d produced. The suits were a little more enthusiastic at that point, and I could almost see the little dollar signs circling their heads, like old-time cartoons.They in turn presented me with one of their DVDs, and we watched many of their stable of singers and bands do pretty much the same thing that mine had. It gave me a good idea of their individual styles and ranges, which meant that I could tailor songs specifically for them, and that was one of the main points in me being there in the first place. All good then.Finally, we were through, and with promises of keeping each other in mind. "They both did it and then I said, "In the name of the Church of the New Truth I pronounce you divorced."Vern and Gloria were just the start. The Friday following their divorce two other couples wanted to get married and every Friday after that there were two or three and all followed by the divorce ritual sometime during the following week. I typed up a marriage certificate to use in my weddings, but it had a feature that the wedding licenses issued by the State never had -- an expiration date!! The last line on the certificate said:"This marriage valid for thirty days from the date affixed. At the end of thirty days the marriage is dissolved unless renewed by both parties or both parties choose to end it sooner."I changed the divorce ritual to include tearing up the wedding certificate, dropping it on the floor and having both parties trample it. The fee was the same for the wedding and the divorce -- they had to buy me a beer.The surprising thing about it all was that seven of the.
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