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How I managed to stay working and stay alive was puzzling. I faintly remembered the days that passed by at work where I would continually feign a little smile for my superiors and the smiling customers. But the minute my numb high wore off and I was able to get my hands on more pills, I was off again, diving into the depths of numbness as my painkillers took my pain away for shorter moments each time. Then I needed something more. I needed the pain to go away for good. The side effects of my pill addiction were, in no way, pretty. All of the drugs in combination with my mostly empty stomach and thinning figure created unpleasant conditions for me. No matter how much water I could drink or how much bread and crackers I would eat, the vomiting and acid belches were debilitating at the least. There were some days where my numbness was so widespread that I was too weak to even get out of the bed to vomit. All I was able to do was lean over the bed and throw up in the small trash can near. All the joy of their time together and the immense pain of their parting just came rushing back to her. She broke the bad news to the patient’s family as best she could. He was alive, but the outlook wasn’t good. Then she left the room she had taken them to, to face her past head on. She got up the courage to walk up to him, but once she was there she wasn’t sure she had the courage to actually speak. When she did, all she could say was ‘Hi’. ‘Hi’ he replied feeling like his heart might beat out of his chest and his lungs might collapse all at the same time. ‘You look amazing. I can’t believe you’re here. I must be dreaming.’ His words touched her, but she had been so hurt the last time. How could she go through this again? Still what she found herself saying was, ‘You look pretty good yourself. I missed you.’ ‘There’s so much I want to say to you, so much I’ve wanted to say for so long. In spite of all my promises, I never really thought I’d see you again. We have to catch up!’ he.
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