My confidence with the opposite sex may have been manufactured, but I was sure of my hockey skills, at least versus the competition at hand.From the moment Haley saw me I was her BMOC. I certainly felt that way around her, at least. Once the stud goalies showed up I knew I could never be the big man on campus so I never acted that part. It only existed in her mind, but that was good enough for me.I knew she wanted to be my girlfriend and she was very careful not to seem too anxious. Little did she know that I would whimper like a baby and beg at her feet should she ask.After meeting 3 or 4 times on campus for one thing or the other she asked me if I wanted to go out for a pizza. I accepted and she asked that I pick her up at her dorm. When I went up she invited me in and I saw the pizza box waiting."I thought we were going out for a pizza?" I asked.She looked at me a little funny and then without meeting my eyes squarely she sing-songed her way through an explanation."Well, I had to. Nights and days have gone past when I didn’t seriously think about packing up a bag and leaving him to be alone with his newfound self. It felt so easy a thing to do … but I couldn’t. In the end, when I’d really had it up to my neck with the bastard, I couldn’t make myself open that door and step out into a new life. I still loved him, and I know he loved me too. He was just going through some sort of rough patch and figured ignoring me was the least way he could handle it. At least that was what I told myself, there wasn’t anyone else around whom I could shoot the breeze with to know if I was the one who truly needed to go see a doctor and not him. There were occasions when he remembered I was there with him. Some mornings I woke up to the scent of a cup of tea on the cabinet by my side of the bed. One night while in bed I felt him nuzzling my ear. It felt ticklish and really what I wanted to do was turn over and pulled his face down to mine. Except I didn’t do that, I wanted to see.
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