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‘I thought we were soul mates.’ ‘I did, too. But if we were, I would never be able to feel this way about Brad. I never meant to hurt you. For the longest time Brad and I were just friends, then….’ ‘You never really loved me, did you?’ ‘That’s not true! I did love you. I still do but…not nearly as much as Brad.’ That was the knife being twisted around. Maybe if she didn’t love me, it would have been easier to let go. I call her a bitch or slut or golddigger and get on with my life. But I knew that wasn’t true. She genuinely did love me and that’s what made it so hard to let go. ‘We can still be friends, though.’ ‘Can we?’ I asked. ‘Breaking up with me has already broken my heart. Seeing you as a friend and knowing that we could never be anything more? That would eat away at my heart until there was nothing left inside of me.’ The last time I heard from her was a few days later when she sent me the love letters I had written her along with the locket. I burned the letters and broke. I laid the table adding twocandles and wine glasses for a special evening meal.After giving myself a douche and shower, I curled my hair in heatedrollers, I put on really sexy underwear and black sheer stockings, thenthe black cocktail dress I wore when dad raped me.Dad arrived at six pm, I poked my head around the door so he would notsee what I was wearing, and told him to have a shower and shave while Igot dinner ready. When he came down, I had just lit the candles and putthe dinner on the table ready, he took a good look at me and the candlelit table"Just fantastic Alice, you look wonderful, everything is so romantic" All you can see is yours tonight dad, even me" I must have gone to heaven, I don't deserve it all" Just sit down and enjoy" One thing Alice, please may I call you Liz tonight" Of course you can, would you like me to call you Greg?" I would like that, you even sound like your mum"I poured the wine and we both enjoyed a leisurely evening meal and winetogether, he asked.
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