‘Here. Her numbers are unlisted, the better to keep the ex-husband away. Call her. I think she’s interested in you. She certainly knew a lot more about you than you knew about her.’ I started dialing Kristi’s phone number three times before I finally mustered the courage to dial all 10 numbers. I paced the floor in my kitchen nervously as the phone rang once, twice, three times before I heard the click and a cheery voice answered. ‘Is this Kristi?’ I said, then mentally kicked myself for asking a really stupid question. ‘It is,’ she said, guardedly. I introduced myself and I could hear her relax noticeably when she learned it was me calling. We talked a minute or two about the weather, she asked me about the football coach at the university who had just been fired after another losing season, then the conversation started to peter out. Finally, I knew it was time to take the bull by the horns. ‘Kristi, I’m not very good at this, and it’s been a long time since I asked anyone out,’ I. There was a small pulloff behind some trees - it looked an ideal spot to relieve my aching bladder.I parked the car, and as I got out, I heard another car pull off the road, and then it came into view and pulled in behind my car. Damn! My privacy was gone. Fuck, I really really had to pee.The driver of the car, a middle-aged, good-looking blonde woman, got out, saw me, and said, "Oh shit, I thought this looked private." Yeah, I thought so too," I said. "I really had to relieve my bladder." Well it looks like we're in the same situation," she said. She was shifting her weight from leg to leg. "I really don't think I can hold it much longer." She paused, hesitating. "Look, this is weird, I know, and I don't know you, but you look alright. Can you just look the other way? I'm gonna wet myself if I don't piss right fucking now." Uh, sure, as long as you're fine with me doing the same, as I'm also probably about to wet myself." I thought men had better control over that than women."I.
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