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I really don’t like myself. I started drinking a long time ago. I was smart about it, I knew to only drink if I thought you weren’t going to barge in or if you were out or something...”My face flooded with guilt as I realized that whenever I was out having sex with some college girl, Molly was hating herself and drinking her problems away, slowly destabilizing. All this time and I could have seen the signs, I could have helped her if I wasn’t so obsessed with getting another notch on my belt.“ ... and it was nice.” Molly continued. “Probably bad for me, but at least it felt nice. I forgot a lot when I was drunk. I’d wake up and see I texted like six people I haven’t talked to in months. I forgot about the world, for just a few hours. I forgot about why I didn’t like myself. Sometimes I’d just straight-up forget the fact that I didn’t like myself.” She turned to face me and smiled plainly. “So it’s not your fault, Aaron. You didn’t make me like this.”“Molly ... I’m so sorry...” I. Of course, if you had limited space, they would put your brother or sister up for a few days, should they decide to visit unannounced."So," Vald began, when I had my drink in hand. "How old were you the first time?" My first boy was when I was 15," I replied."No, I mean when you killed your first man," he said smiling. "I know you don't talk about those kinds of things. People just wouldn't understand, so I'm asking." I was twenty, he was trying to get onto our base outside San Salvador. Kid was trying to drive a car through my road block. I had nightmares for a year," I said honestly. "Fortunately there were local's shooting as well. They got the credit and the abuse, I got transfered out of the country. We were all thrilled. From that I got my first lesson about how things work. It isn't what you do that counts, it's what people think you do, for which you must account. I was not a hero, but I also didn't go to jail. It seemed like a fair exchange." I was fourteen, a drunken man.
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