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He told me all about her -- his eyes shining. "She loves baseball!" he exclaimed. "She can't get enough of it. She loves watching me play!"Well, they got married, and they're still together and all, so I guess it wasn't that awful. But he told me later that the "loving baseball" thing had been a total ruse. She'd told him what she knew he wanted to hear, and he bought it, just like that.Now his ideal woman pays no attention at all to anything remotely related to his career as a ballplayer -- except that paycheck he brings home every two weeks.She doesn't even notice how disappointed he feels. Man, that's way worse than faking orgasms, as far as I'm concerned!At least I didn't have to worry about Patti Wyman being a baseball groupie. She played the game herself -- she actually played baseball -- at least when they'd let her. Softball, her game now, was just Imitation Baseball, and I figured she was a little humiliated at being forced to make the switch. But she loved The Game enough. " No no. You're in luck. I just so happen to have a tie for you." I still have it.I apparently had to point out my "Go State Go" t-shirt."Oh, dear. I hadn't thought of that. How far is it to your place?" Like everything else in this podunk. 10 minutes away." Then we haven't a moment to lose." And she stepped back, withdrawing her perfume and waited for me to finish opening the door for her. She smiled demurely at me as she slithered into my heap."And where can I take you?" No, I'm taking you, and we're going to the Yacht Club."I needed to dress considerably better for that, and I hoped my white shirt was clean. The Yacht Club wasn't a real yacht club, as the nearest body of water was Hildebrandt's Pond, and the boats on it were just fishing dingys. It was kind of a joke that the owners of the best restaurant in town prided themselves on pulling off, complete with maritime junk on the walls. Any restaurant worth its salt always seems to put junk on the walls."Sooo, what are you.
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