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It was just as good as I had ever imagined. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t worry if you can’t come.Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain. Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth. There you have it ICE is fucking lethal, lay off the ice and warn all your friends, you could save a life and don’t forget what it did to the poor old Titanic!Two old guys were sitting in the park talking when the subject turned to getting older. The first guy said “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older”. “What do you mean?” asked the second guy. “Well” replied the first. “I can barely remember the last time I was able to get it up in bed, but my wife - she’s healthier than ever!” “Healthier? How is that?” his buddy wondered. “Years ago, when we were younger, almost every night before bed she’d get these terrible. ”I fell back onto the pillow and took a lot of deep breaths as my memory began to return, the extraordinary images rushing in on me in a tsunami of astonishment and disbelief.Had I really done all that? Said all that? Enjoyed all that? Had I really been that woman?“Want some tea?” Pete asked casually.“Please,” the one-word reply was all I could manage.He jumped to his feet and a few minutes later brought a steaming cup to the bedside. I sat up again and sipped the hot liquid tentatively as my husband’s eyes bored into me, a look somewhere between awe and admiration on his handsome face.“Don’t stare at me, Pete,” I frowned.“Sorry Penn,” he smiled, embarrassed. “It’s just that I can’t believe…”He let the words fade.“How do you feel this morning?” he eventually asked.“Tired and achy,” I replied.“I’m not surprised.”I blushed ridiculously.“How do you feel?” I asked. “It was supposed to be your fantasy coming true as much as mine. Was it all you wanted it to be?”There was a long pause while.
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