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It was 7pm. “Shit” I thought “I had better get over there to see what is going on”. I jumped in my car. Amy’s house was only half an hour away. I arrived and knocked on the door several times before a very drunk Amy answered. “Hello darling” she shouted “come inside and join the party”. I walked into the lounge room. There was two empty wine bottles on the table and she was holding a third already open. The phone was lying on the floor which is why it wasn’t answering. I picked it up and put it back on the table. “Have a drink with me darling” she said “celebrate with me because that cheating arsehole is gone”I found the whole thing rather humorous. She was working as a prostitute on Friday nights and HE was the cheat? I didn’t say anything. I certainly didn’t tell her about the fact that he had turned up intent of fucking me. I decided that would remain a secret for ever. I took the bottle from her. “You have had enough honey” I said “now just sit there and relax. I will make you. They'd never seen a potato before of course, but it didn't take them long to catch on to the use of a peeler and I was shuffled out of the way after a short demonstration so they could all have a turn. When they had enough peeled I showed them how to cut them into chunks and start them boiling. I took a seat while they cooked.Later I showed them how to mash up the potatoes, add milk, a little salt and a lot of Country Crock, and do a lot more whipping until they looked and tasted right to me. The cooks were frankly amazed at this magic, but after a little tasting they pronounced the white stuff palatable. For my next trick I got out the pan of gravy I'd made yesterday and warmed it up.Finally it was time for supper. Most of us were seated and the children were waiting patiently. Everyone watched me closely as I loaded my plate, especially when I served myself the mashed potatoes and then spooned on a good helping of the gravy. Everyone loved the potatoes and gravy, especially me.It.
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