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My banging on the door went unheeded until the guy living next door came out to see what the racket was all about. My heart sank as he told me James and some sexy big titted white girl, had just left on vacation. I asked him where they were going but all he knew was that James had flashed some airline tickets at him and told him they would be back in a week.All week I sent text messages and calls to her. They all went to voice mail and I never got any response. By the following Sunday afternoon, I was a complete wreck waiting for her to get home. At 5:50 James called and said that they were at his apartment and I should come over. I drove over much slower than last week, because I dreaded what I would find. When I rang the bell, James answered the door and let me in. Lisa was not with him in the living room. I was mad as hell and said, "Where the fuck is my girlfriend you son of a bitch?" The question should have been, what the hell did you do to my girlfriend instead.My answer. After a little digging around, he pulled out something that had been tucked between his teeth and cheek, on the upper righthand side. It was some sort of thin, wafer-ish device that looked vaguely technological, vaguely magickal. He examined it closely for a moment, then glanced at her, then back at the device, then back at her. "Okay, you're clear," he announced."What? What was--?" Oh. Right. Sorry." Now he seemed embarrassed. "I wasn't trying to lead you on with that kiss or anything, honest. I definitely wasn't expecting you to kiss me back. I mean, I didn't even know you felt that way about me. Otherwise I would have found a different way to check you out--one that didn't get your hopes all up and everything. I thought you only liked girls." I wasn't--" I mean, I think you're super-sweet, and really cute, and you have an Ami Mizuno t-shirt which I'm totally jealous of but would never ever borrow without asking, I swear, I don't know how that stain got on it--" What--?!" It would.
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