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What he half-expected was a follow up call giving an update on Peter’s condition, but when none came that day or the next he shrugged and let it go. He knew that recovery can be very slow and not always complete, and assumed Claire was wrapped up in visits to the hospital and then the process of helping him recover at home.Weeks later, on Tuesday of the third week of October to be precise, he received an email in the afternoon.Hi JohnPeter was at death’s door for quite some time, while the hospital tried to dissolve the clot in his brain which was a very large and serious one. There was worry there would be other clots circulating round his body. The problem was that the longer it took, the more damage was done to his brain, and the less likely it was he would fully recover.He’s back home now, but he’s badly damaged. His speech is very slow, and he finds it hard to find words. He’s forgetful. His left side is paralysed so he limps badly and while there’s some movement in his left. Part of me almost hesitates, but I still kiss you back and hold you tight. I know we have to go soon. That I have to let you go again. There's nothing to say right now and maybe that's for the best. We can just enjoy the calm aftermath together for a few more minutes before we part.I'll think about everything else between us later. How sometimes you'll need more from me than the inklings of a friendship. Need us to be more than the secret encounters we initiate. I wonder if that's all there really is between people, these connections that never seem to last. Instinct and reaction. Consequence and devastation. Messages and signals none of us have the codex to properly translate. I wonder if it's all grunts and moans and wants. The obliterating flash of ecstasy at the end. The cold after we pull away. The ache to start it all again. To take and be taken. Prey and predator. To entirely occupy and be occupied by another. I wonder what you really want from me, how long we can keep.
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