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I checked my phone to see that it was from him, we began texting back and forth as we did most nights, talking about our days and what we had planned for tomorrow. After a while of chatting the texting stopped for a while, I presumed he must have fallen asleep or something, and put my phone down. After a further 10 minutes or so I heard my phone go off again. The text read “I was thinking today, do you remember when we were k**s and we used to mess about with each other?” At first I didn’t really get what he meant, so replied “what do you mean ‘mess about’?” I tried to think to what he could have meant, I thought he was talking about when we’d play together, as k**s do, I realised I was wrong when I got his reply, “I mean when we were curious, we ‘messed about’ with each other...down there LOL” at this I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, I’d never expected this to get brought up, and I’d always thought that if it did, it’d be incredibly awkward, but to my surprise it wasn’t, it. .........I didn’t bother dusting the disco off, what was the point? I couldn’t face cheerful holidaymakers, I couldn’t put on a brave face. Instead, I cancelled the bookings I did have and buried myself in self-pity. I got pissed nearly every day, sometimes in a bar, sometimes at home and even, sometimes at the beach while I pretended to fish, at least I was alone there.I had plenty of money in the bank, so not working wasn’t a problem, the problem was that I knew I had become a total mess and didn’t know how to change it.Occasionally, I would catch Dawn on the tele and quite often on the radio. On tele, she sounded good, she looked good but I felt there was something missing, it’s hard to explain, but I knew her so well that I could see in her face that something wasn’t right.Nearly a year had passed, nothing had changed. Then one day Helen was at the door when I answered the ring of the bell. I fell into her arms and sobbed uncontrollably, I seemed to do a lot of that these days..
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