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She exited through the revolving doors into the blinding daylight. I followed in great haste and burst through the doors soon after her. To my unpleasant surprise, she was nowhere in sight. I spun around in circles, desperately hoping to find my only ticket to happiness. In mid-spin I caught a glimpse of her. She was in the parking lot ahead of me. I ran harder and faster than I ever had before. She seemed to become further and further away from me as I ran towards her. It was as if my eyes were playing a cruel trick on me not long after rewarding me with the ability to see her beauty. I finally reached the parking lot but my dream of a woman had disappeared into the pool of parked cars. Exasperated, I bent over and rested my palms on my knees, trying to catch my breath. As I did this, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my side as a car’s back bumper knocked me onto the cement pavement. I didn’t see any little birdies circling my head, only darkness. I didn’t think I was going to open. It would be to your advantage to remain similarly forthright through the remainder of our interview. Mr. Brandywine, do you consider me to be of particularly or even ordinarily ladylike character?"Corky glared at his tormentor. "No, I do not."Maggie affected surprise. "I think you are ill-serving a sweet lass who has given you a great deal of pleasure and valuable instruction. But our concern here is not my views, but your own. So, in your hard and uncharitable view, what ladylike qualities could I possibly lack?"Corky was not enjoying this game, but her continued grip on his gonads was powerful incentive to play along. "Modesty, humility, comportment, civilized table-manners. Ability with some sort of musical instrument is desirable, though not strictly necessary; and most authorities agree that undergarments are a near-universal attribute of every true lady. Need I go on?Far from the chastened look Corky was hoping for or the towering rage he feared, Maggie appeared to be trying to.
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