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"Mom, we have to practice or we'll blow the recital."She avoided my eyes, looking down like my father had done Sunday night."You don't want that, do you?"No." Is something wrong?" There, I had opened it up. I had thought about this all day and was scared of this, knowing it might lead to an ultimatum."No. Well, not really. It's just that," Mom was twisting her fingers together on the table in front of her. "It's just that ... things went a little further than I thought. I just, I just ... oh, I'm so confused."Tears appeared under Mom's eyes, running over her cheeks and dripping onto the table, but there was no sound, no sobbing or crying. I tried Dad's thought, that I was just an eager teenager that couldn't help himself."Mom, I know. It's just that, well, I can't help myself, being so close to you, you being so pretty and all." "I know all about that, Jon. I'm not really all that worried because I know I won't let it get out of hand. You know that too, don't you?"Mom's piercing look. He stood up quickly from his seat at the table, and all I could do was remain frozen and scared. He stormed out the door, not even grabbing his overcoat, and left me there shocked and confused. After a little while had passed, I got up and cleared the table, the went to go get prepared for bed. I didn't know if he would come home that night, or at all in that case, and I new that there was nothing I could do to bring him back. So, I fell asleep, still afraid that he would come in the night and beat me for thinking such thought of family when he hadn't expressed a desire for one. Had I been wrong to want a child? The next morning came, and still no Renley. I decided that he had probably stayed at a friends house and then gone to work in the morning. I wine about my business as usual: Cleaning the house, purchasing food from the market, and finding some free time in between to knit a pair of warm socks for the up coming winter. Evening came, and still no Renley. Thought flew.
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