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In fact by its end he had an attractive brunette to bring home.On the third evening, I asked him why he stopped flirting with Amy. She likes dancing, and I love watching the way she moves her bounteous body, but I usually need a good buzz going before I embarrass myself on the dance floor. She doesn't wait. That night I watched her dance with a guy for a couple songs. As usual she glanced at me, smiling."You guys have a bond, Joe," Josh answered. "Maybe you don't see it or she doesn't, but its there. I'd be as likely to take her from you as I would take Devi." Devi and I married for legal reasons," I said even though he knew."I hate you sometimes," said Josh. "I'll never have a woman look at me the way Bess or Devi or Amy looks at you. And you don't even realize how much they love you. It's not just Bess, Joe, goddamnit. You may think she's the one and only, and maybe even Devi and Amy accept that, but it ain't so." But ... It's not fair to them." It's plenty fair. They like being. I feltprivileged merely to stand wearing heels and feel my ankles flex,or merely to sit and smooth my skirt under me and feel my nylonundies slide under my skirt against the chair cushions. Sunday evening always felt a little elegaic, sad, as I removed myfingernails and creamed off my make-up and unclasped my bra, theenchantment ended, and my life again became ... ordinary. Iffriends invited us out on Saturdays or Sundays, even if we invitedthem in, my time en femmne was truncated and I felt cheated. WhenI had to be out of town over a weekend to consult with a client,I'd consider it a lost weekend, an opportunity for pleasure goneforever, no fee really worth the sacrifice. Increasingly I turneddown such invitations.Emily meanwhile did turn a blind eye to my womanliness. She neverseemed to see or hear anything feminine about me. On weekends wetalked as we always did, though I used my feminine voice, andexcept that she avoided physical nearness she seemed to see.
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