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"While I was growing up, father was totally wrappedup with his work. He was driven to become a full partner at an earlyage, and he sacrificed family time to achieve it. So, it was up tomother to raise me. I didn't present her with too many challenges, atleast until high school."Vivian paused to sip her wine and took a few deep breathes to steadyherself before she continued. I could tell she was quite nervous andlet her wait until she was ready. "I had my first real boyfriend when Iwas 16. It was my sophomore year and all my friends were pairing up. Ifelt like I had to have a boyfriend to fit in. It didn't work! Over thenext year and a half, I dated six or seven guys but never feltcomfortable being with any of them. Then one day late in my junior yearI came home from school with my friend Julie. We walked in the houseand mother was in the kitchen. I introduced her to Julie, 'Mother, thisis Julie. She's my girlfriend.' And waited for what I had said to takehold. It took a minute, but. Here’s why things seem the way they do for me. He’s sweet, tender, sensitive to what I think and what I feel. He loves being around me and leaving kisses on my body from the shallowest to the deepest parts. When I look into his eyes I see passion and life. I see something so strong it locks me into his gaze. He makes my frazzled nerves settle, because I’m prone at times to think the worst. He told me once before that he is who he is and that’s that. I love that about him. He also makes me smile from my heart outward. He’s a man that I know and have always known given a chance, I could truly deeply love him. The question I find myself asking is, could I love him without the possibility of him loving me as deeply as I love him? Can I give love without expecting him to love me, just to show that what I feel for him is real and what he feels is authentic and there is nothing to be afraid of? Am I willing to self sacrafice for something that may turn out to not be as I hoped it would..
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