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When I asked what that was she prefaced unloadingher bomb by explaining to me that while her clientele was of a moreliberal nature, they would only show tolerance if it was crystal clearthat we had all gone full out to do the very best makeup possible on me.I then waited for her punch line. She explained that she could only dothe required makeup on me if I first let her shave off my eyebrows. Atfirst I sat there dumb founded and countered that it would be okay if sheplucked my eyebrows a little bit. She countered back that even lots ofplucking would not allow her to achieve the look she had in mind for me.Besides she reminded me that it would be awkward to return to work withthin, feminine arched brows while shaving would allow her to glue back onnormal masculine eyebrows that at worst would look like I had opted forthe new metro look. She further explained these eyebrows were now veryrealistic and had been refined to fill the needs of cancer-radiationpatients. She then reached in. “Holy Crap, what a night,” he howls.“What happened?” they all ask."How long was I gone?” he bellows. “Check the sleighs chronometer. A normal Christmas I should have only had to stop time for 13 to 14 days!”Scurrying over to the sleigh, one of the elves examines it's time-shifting chronometer. “Oh My Word! It says you've been gone for 103 days!”Straightening himself fully upright, Santa looks at elves. “It seems someone programmed in a few new deliveries into my system,” he growls. “I was making stops for a number of Naughty Little Girls!"A collective gasp comes from the elves.Santa looks over the gathering crowd of elves, “Who was responsible for programming the delivery system this year?”The elves all look at one another and then slowly begin to separate until just one elf is standing in front of Santa.“You did this!” he said pointing at the lone elf.Looking down at the snow, “Yes sir, but. . . it was with the High Elfin Council approval.”“Tell me more.”Looking for the right words.
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