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.. they gotta have the very last laugh. No one trusts an elf as far as you can throw one (they drop kick even further, if you’ve got the balls to do the deed) and they’re everywhere around here, the very backbone and muscle of the Kringle clan. Find a crime and if you dig deep and long enough you’ll find an elf somewhere lurking in the dark corners, probably also with its hose pulled down to its ankles and doing the nasty to someone’s pet dog.Her other big lie was that as far as I knew, the famous Caroline Christmas didn’t have any sisters, or other family - elf or otherwise, so I had no idea what this disguised elf really wanted with her. True, I didn’t know Carole (in the biblical sense or otherwise) and at best I’d only ever seen her at a distance, but I’d always had the notion that Christmas Carole was a rather unique sort of polar white swan, powerful, beautiful and disdainfully aloof from the affairs of mere mortals ... and more toxic than a room full of black cats, broken. Finally getting some pussy. Damn, I was getting really horny again. I briefly considered stepping back in the room to ask if I could help Zack bang his chick. What the fuck was I thinking? No, that wouldn't be cool. What was wrong with me? I was becoming a total horndog. I listened at the door for a moment and heard Zack and the girl moaning and heard the bed rattling. Damn. I was so horny I couldn't stand it. It was fairly quiet on my floor, but it was a week night and I figured some were trapped at the library by the rain. With not many people around, I considered heading to the shower to jerk off. I had to do something. But that wouldn't work...I didn't have a towel and hated to go back in the room and interrupt Zack. I was still standing outside my room, deep in thought, staring at my phone, considering calling April and asking if I could come back over there and bang her when I heard my name. I looked up from my phone to see who had spoken. Patrick , who lived.
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