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? Steve, come up here right now!? You've got to see what your son just did!"?? I hear my dad stomping up the stairs.? He strongly believed that "sparing the rod, spoils the child" and I feared what he would do when he saw the evidence. Decision? She showed my dad the wet spots on my sheet. ?"Tom, stand up and face me." I jumped out of bed, he was mad and I didn't want to make it worse by delay. ?I felt terrible standing stark naked in front of my dad and especially my mom since I now had a fully developed penis. ?"Look me in the eye! Did you intentionally spill your seed which is an abomination to God?" "Yes, Sir. ?I was tempted by the devil and was weak and gave in. ?I will pray for forgiveness." I mouthed well learned religious platitudes I hoped might work. He slowly removed the wide leather belt he wore and slapped it gently on one hand as he lectured me on the awful sin I had done. ?As he lectured I stared at the belt. ?The truth is that I was not afraid of the beatings he gave. ’ ‘That’s not exactly a vow,’ Jeff said. ‘It’s the preface.’ We were having fun with each other, like we always did, except there was a crowd of over three hundred listening in. ‘I promise to live up to your expectations. If I can’t do it right away, I’ll figure out how. ‘I promise to assume you know what you’re doing or talking about unless you indicate to the contrary, because you do. ‘I promise to use subterfuge, nag, kvetch and do whatever it takes to keep you healthy enough to become an old man. ‘And I promise to find the value in nerds, especially my nerd.’ Trust Jeff not to let this go. ‘You know, the term nerd was first used in If I Ran the Zoo, by Dr. Seuss. Despite the undesirable characteristics attributed to nerds, many of them are just the manifestation of their desire to choose their own direction in life rather than follow what society tells them it expects. Peter Parker was a nerd.’ ‘You’re citing Spider Man in defense of nerds? That was a comic book.’ ‘Hey, guys,’ the.
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