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✧ ✧ ✧A JEWISH DIVORCEA Jewish daughter says to her mother “I’m divorcing Nathan.” “All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50 cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece.”Her mother says, “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman. You live in an 8 bedroom mansion. You drive a $250,000 Ferrari. You get $2,000 a week allowance. You take 6 vacations a year and you want to throw all that away over 45 cents?NOW THAT’S A JEWISH MOTHER!✧ ✧ ✧From dorsetmikeShe says “Why don’t you say you love me anymore?”He replies “I said it once, I’ll let you know if the situation changes.”✧ ✧ ✧This one is from fmwarmacSo I asked my wife, “Why do you keep buying plants when you just kill them?”She said, “To remind you what I’m capable of.”✧ ✧ ✧Last week I bought a brand new boomerang, even though I can’t seem to get rid of the old one.People who put some money away each week just aren’t shopping hard enough.I bought some fridge magnets. So far, I have 10. She was the only educated lady of her age in the village. She had a best friend in the village whom we all called Kaki she was a vaidya’s daughter and lived with her parents after her husband who was 40 years older to her died after some years of marriage. She would always come to our house and is a lot fun being around.I was the only boy of mom’s entire family so I was loved and pampered a lot by everyone. Grandpa had died some years ago. My eldest mausi’s husband who was a ghar jamai took the responsibility of the fields and house. Each mausi had 1 or 2 daughters. So basically my mom’s house I would always be surrounded by ladies which really started to feel cool when I became adolescent. So I hadn’t gone to village for a long time as I was in 12th class and was preparing for engineering entrances. After giving all my exams I had a gap of 3 months before joining a college so I decided to go to my mom’s house as there were some disputes at my father’s village. I was really glad in.
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