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She invariably talked about how ugly, misshapen and stupid he was, in loud complaints, while he responded by pointing out each and every part of what he called "your luscious self". Both of them were kidding, and anyone who heard them could tell they were kidding, but the vituperative nature of her attacks on him, and the salacious nature of his comments to her often left people with slack jaws."Uncle BOB!" came the scandalized cry from the phone. Then, off mike, Bob heard who was obviously one of his two teenaged nieces yell "MOM! It's Uncle Bob and he thought I was YOU!"She came back to the phone. "Uncle Bob you're not supposed to talk about my butt. That makes you a dirty old man."Bob now had enough information to know he was talking to his sixteen year old niece, Alice. "Well sweetheart, I can't help it if you sound like a grown woman. I been calling your mamma for years now and whenever a grown woman answered it was always her. How was I supposed to know you had grown up so. Let me try your stick,” he asked.Dan noticed the immediate difference in weight and balance and wristed several shots at the net to judge the feel of the stick. He turned away, and skated towards a puck. Carl trained the speed gun on the puck. It made a different slapping sound against the ice and puck compared to his wooden one.“114!” Carl exclaimed.“Okay, Brad, set me up for a one-timer,” Dan asked, his stick poised to fire. Brad fed him a medium speed pass along the ice and crack! The stick didn’t break but flexed further than his wooden stick can, pinging off the goalpost and high to the opposite glass.“Oh my fuck, 116!” Carl cried.“Wow Dad, that is unbelievable!” Brad looked on as Dan wristed and backhanded a few more pucks.“Nice stick, Brad. It would take a little getting use to. I’d need one with slightly less flex otherwise, I’ll break yours too often,” he said, handing it back to him.Brad did the same as his dad, skating into a powerful slap shot, “100!” Carl announced. Dan.
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