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....The Perfect DumpEvery once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.The Beer DumpNasty! Depends upon the dumper's tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn't matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle's heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a. Net/qH0UAA"Oh my god, yes! Oh fucking hell, yes."Suddenly my tongue and face were being ground against. I loved it when I heard her words turn into mindless babbling sounds. That my little sister could be such a passion-driven woman, when licked, would have never occurred to me.Wetter and wetter she became till I was soon licking through thicker juices, sucking them from her lips. I pushed her up off me.when I heard the front door opening."Oh shit!" she said suddenly, scrambling for her clothes.I ran out the door and across the hall into the bathroom, just in time."Gwen?" Yeah, Mom?" Where's your brother?" I heard Mom asking as she walked down the hall.Opening the door of the bathroom, I stuck my head out with my face covered in shaving cream."Yeah, Mom?" Oh, there you are. Your dad want you to go out to the garage and help him with the fish," she said."Sure...just let me get finished shaving." She nodded.As I stepped back into the bathroom, I heard her explode."Gwendolyn Victoria.
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