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It had become my latest fantasy, playing the innocent and expectant mother. My husband knew this, of course, and he indulged me in the hopes that it would satisfy me enough that I wouldn't do anything foolish. Anything stupid and illegal, like pushing that condom he'd just filled into my loose sex, squeezing the contents out and pushing it inside me with my fingers. That would be immoral according to society, downright irresponsible if not entirely ant-social.I held the condom for a long moment, staring at it while my other hand explored the taut flatness of my belly. I was empty inside and every part of me hated it. I needed to be filled. First with my husband's sperm and then later with his child. A new life inside me, growing into a son perhaps, a boy to replace his father. Or a daughter with ice blue eyes and long blonde hair to succeed me in youth and beauty and ... Wisdom perhaps? My thoughts faltered and my willpower with them. I dropped the condom with a gentle splash and. I had to wait for two days before I could retrieve the video from my car, my girlfriend was out for her weekly keep fit night with two of her friends. I pushed the cassette into the slot with a shaking hand. The first thing I found out that it was my EX who was the subject of the video. The first half-hour or so was just the party in general but it clearly showed her as one of the guests.The screen went blank then came on again, now obviously later in the evening for I could see that most of the guests had already left. After panning the room the camera stopped on the seemingly drunk Fiona dancing slowly all by herself in the middle of the room. The light was not good but the camera must have been a good one and seemed to handle it ok. After a few minutes she was joined by a large coloured guy who gyrated slowly in time with her movements. She showed no reaction to his arrival, which surprised me a little. I remember that she was not exactly a racist but generally she didn't like.
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