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It belongs hidden under the mattress, behind the pipes beneath the bathroom sink, or in the locked drawer of the nightstand. If it isn’t Dirty, I haven’t done it right. On the other hand, if it isn’t interesting, it’s not any damn good and I wouldn’t post it. I can’t spit out those cookie-cutter tales of horny teenagers getting busy in the backs of their mommies’ cars, or bisexual nymphomaniacs who want to bring the narrator home to play with their girlfriends. My characters don’t carry strap-on dildos around in their handbags, and nothing ever happens in locker rooms, college dorm showers, or pool halls. And, I want somebody to smack me in the head if I am ever associated with one of those mere lists of names and contortions occasionally punctuated with sentence-long ‘OOOOOOOOOOOHH’ orgasmic moans. You see, this is exactly the kind of thing I’d want to say to somebody on ‘the outside,’ if only I could. I take what I write seriously, but not TOO seriously. I can always say ‘it’s just. "Here you go." Stacy handed Michael his coffee cup and he lifted it with anod of thanks as he continued reading the manual."This manual is huge," he remarked with growing discomfort."I know. The last vice-president just had me tell him about it. Saves a lotof reading and wasted time on the job," Stacy offered.Michael was beginning to fidget. He looked somewhat uncomfortable as he beganto pull and tug on his heavily starched shirt collar. "That's a great idea.I'm having a tough time getting going this morning," he grinned withincreasing discomfort."Michael, that shirt collar looks like it's driving you crazy."By now he had unbuttoned his suit coat and was rubbing and itching all over."I'm itching like mad," was Michael's only comment as he continued to searchfor relief."New shirts can do that. Probably just a little allergic reaction to thefabric."By now Michael was getting desperate for relief, itching his arms, chest andneck with growing frustration."I've got an idea. Let me get you.
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