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I don't know what to do. I smile; why not see if I can catch that grin and paste it on so it stays?"If you're going to call me sweetie," she says, "you probably ought to call me Janey instead of Ms. Urquhart." She grins again. "Little Janey, that's me." She starts sobbing. Oh, hell! I ought to call 911. I squat down alongside the chair and put my arm around her instead. Well, it feels good to me, maybe she'll like it."Hey, hey," I say. "It'll get better."Her head snaps up and she snarls, "Like hell it will, you asshole! It'll get worse."Listen, when a babe the size of this one snarls, you start thinking Mannlicher shotguns. Francis MacComber. Lorena Bobbitt. I pat her gently, like you would a tiger you inadvertently got your arm around. Nice kitty. Then she puts the Kleenex back in her face and blows her nose like a foghorn. Forgive me; it's funny. This woman is putting me through more emotions in ten minutes than I normally manage in a year. And I hardly know her."I'm sorry, Abe,". But I've known Alex his entire life and I know one thing is true. He likes pushing the envelope but he wants everyone happy in the end. He'll honor the safe word. He won't really hurt me. My heart's pounding with mild panic but I say, "Just don't let him actually hurt me, Sexy."He grabs my arm, "Oh, ain't nobody gonna do that but me." He all but drags me over to the stage and whispers to Shina Turner who has arms like lead pipes.Shina picks up the microphone. 'She' announces that I've been a bad boy. I have never been more embarrassed in my life. Alex grins at me over his beer and somewhere in the crowd, no doubt, Ryan is watching this. And laughing.They have a runway style strut-off — Alex picks the winner who gets to spank me. Alex is enjoying this far too much. As is the crowd. When it's all said and done, I get 15 whacks — bare hand, bare butt — from Scott. Afterward, Ryan and Alex shake hands and Scott looks immensely pleased with himself. For the rest of the night comments.
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