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I am stoked. Walt and I are going to Frisco. We planned to go up Monday and come back Friday but we can leave on Friday now and spend the weekend there – thanks to Shelly and her brilliant ideas." So you're back next Friday?" Rachelle asked. "What time?" No real itinerary," Mary answered. "We're renting a car – from your father, incidentally – so we figured we would drive down the coast, probably getting back at 5 or 6 p.m." Shelly, do you have plans?" Rachelle probed."Not a one," Shelly answered. "I'm going to live a week like Allie and Sarah. Sitting on my ass all day eating bon-bons in my underwear." Are you two ladies planning to be in town weekend after next?" Rachelle inquired of Sarah and Allie."Right now, I am," Sarah answered first. "I've got a couple of things on the burner – a cover shoot for Dazzle and Peaches Magazine. But that's all. Peaches might want us to go somewhere for the shoot but I've heard they try to contain costs by shooting locally. But that is all I've got. ’You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore,HOW TO SPEAK ABOUTWOMENAND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ - She is aBREASTED AMERICAN. ‘2. She is not ‘EASY’ - She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ - She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ - She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’5. She does not ‘NAG’ you - She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ - She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’HOW TO SPEAK ABOUTMENAND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ - He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ - He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’3 ... He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ - He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’4. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’5. He does not act like a’TOTAL ASS’- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see.
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