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I turned my attention to the birthday girl now, I stood there frozen as the girls encouraged me to give the birthday girl some attention. Once again Aunt Kathy saved me from the awkwardness of the moment. "Now hold on, you can't just give her a dance right away, without knowing her. We have some embarrassing questions to get out-of-the-way."Almost like a ringleader in a circus Aunt Kathy pushed her hand against my chest and moved me back so she could walk between my mother and I. "Now Liz, I guess I should start with, when was the last time you got laid?" This immediately got the girls laughing and giggling again. Finally my mother spoke for the first time in the night."Oh god it has been far too long since my divorce." My mother replied, her speech was slurred a little as she spoke. She was clearly drunk."Now Carlos here is quite young, would that be a problem for you?" Kathy asked. Before she could respond I heard Kim shout "He is as young as your son I bet." Definitely not,. "No, I did not, it's 3 in the morning and it's frigin' well pouring rain out there!" Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know."The man does as he's told, gets dressed and goes out into the pounding rain.He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" Yes," comes back the answer."Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband."Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark."Where are you?" asks the husband."Over here on the swing," replies the drunk.These are compliments of Chuck One night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started in the local chemical plant. In a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.When the volunteer fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the.
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