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We stop judging people and start relating to them instead. We recognize, first and foremost, that we’re not in a relationship to focus on how well the other person is learning their lessons, but rather to focus on learning our own.The ego defends against love, not fear. Pain in relationships can be perversely comfortable pain, in that is one we know. We’re used to it. I once heard a tape by Ram Dass, an American spiritual teacher, in which he told of seeing a newspaper article about an abused baby being taken away from his mother. As a police matron tried to take the baby, he kept struggling to remain in his mother’s arms. Although his mother was the one who beat him, she was the one he knew. He was used to her. He wanted to remain in familiar territory.This story illustrates our relationship to our own egos. The ego is our pain, but it is what we know, and we resist moving out of it. The effort it takes to grow out of painful patterns often feels more uncomfortable than remaining. I really wanted a piece of that and thought maybe I had an idea how to get it. Molly was not home at five so I called Ranger Carol Tucker at home. She answered and seemed happy I called. She said she had just walked in the door. I laughed and jokingly said "Then I don't have to ask what you have on."Carol said Ed; I was thinking. It would be very nice if I met you and your wife for a little recreational sex but would you mind it we had another go at it first. I kind of liked that one on one. I also liked what you did just before we were interrupted. I said "Carol I liked that too. But really I think you'd like my wife Molly. She is fine with this and I sure you'd have a good time however if you would like to see me alone one more time that is also fine with me. I had to notice you have a really pretty ass and I've always enjoyed a fine ass. I like to talk you about some thing else too. "Carol said she had to get cleaned up and if I came by tomorrow around noon she would be home as.
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