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But, well, I've nothing to hold me here."I held her hand as the tear dislodged itself and slid down her cheek. She brushed it away. "Come," she said, "let's off to bed." She smiled at me. "I need a man." Fran," I said, staying put and still holding her hand. "Are you sure?"She leaned across the table and kissed me full on the mouth, gnawing and sucking, sliding her tongue into my cheek and letting her robe fall open.The doctor's bed was large and heavy with big posts at each corner. They gleamed in the candle light as we disrobed. She slid under the quilt, and after I pulled the shirt over my head I was bare as she and ready to join her."Want me to blow out the candle?" I asked, trying to ignore my aroused condition which was almost painfully obvious.She shook her head, tumbling curls and smiling up at me as my fat prod rose and trembled before me, stretching out, bobbing left and right. She lifted the corner of the quilt and I climbed up beside her. We made happy throat noises as. At the time I was mad about that fact. I did get to spend that summer living with my best friend though. I had a step father for two whole weeks, that was interesting. I thought for a minute I would be able to relax, but nope. Still, Some of the best memories of my life are from then and 38 years later I still have my best friend. Putting some of it down on electronic paper left me in a good mood the entire next day which is rare for me.Part of that is learned behavior when you just accept life sucks and prepare for the worst then you can be pleasantly surprised. Which I’ve found beats the hell out of having hope and then getting it crushed out of you time after time. The other part comes from being in chronic pain. It’s hard to be in a civil much less happy mood when you constantly hurt. It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain relationships. Worries about the future and if you have.
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