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There happens to be this thing called the internet, you see. You can find all kinds of things on the internet, like cats, how to build bombs, how to fix your car, and how to please a woman. I studied the latter rather than the former. Hey, I was curious, I did seriously NOT want to know anything about bombs, already knew how cars worked, and I’m allergic to cats so I looked at that other thing online.Sue asked for my finger. Instead, I gave her my tongue. I wanted it to be special for Sue. And me. This was, after all, my first taste of a lady and you know what? I actually liked it. I wondered if all girls tasted like Sue?From all the online porn, I mean instructional videos, I knew to start slow, but Sue wasn’t having any of that. She grabbed the back of my head and squashed my face into her sex. I caught her drift and tried to be aggressive too. I doubt there was enough of that from me for her huge form, but I was trying.It was hard to keep my tongue against her; she was wild. I had. Then I get to learn all of my nicknames. When ever I meet someone new I automatically say ‘What’ll ya have?’ I’ve gotten a lot of funny looks from people until I tell them what I do for a living. The interesting part of my profession is that I DO get treated as a professional. When I took my first bartending job, I had no idea that I would automatically achieve the same stature as a doctor, lawyer, or accountant, even among the members of those professions! Not only that, but on a good night I can make one-tenth of what they make without the worry of support staff, errors and omissions, or professional liability. I even helped console some of the jurors in the OJ case. They took a lot of consoling. As most professional barkeeps know, the most closely related profession is lay-psychiatrist, followed closely by detective. I’ve always thought that experienced barkeeps should automatically be accepted as inspectors for the Department of Weights and Measures, but our bosses made a pretty.
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