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I continued, losing my seductressact and getting more real. "I don't want to lose you."He just looked at me. My head tried to tell my heart not to say what itwanted to, but my heart wouldn't listen. "I love you." I reached out totouch his hand, but he pulled it back, almost reflexively. That saidenough. I grabbed my raincoat and ran out of the place. I didn't runtoward my home, I didn't run toward his, they both had too many memoriesof us. I just ran away.***So now here I sit at my favorite outdoor caf?, in my usual chair at myfavorite table by the tree, in the rain. Here is where it all started,and if I could go back and do it all over, here is where I'd need to makea change. I'd just have to make him go away and never become important tome. All I'd need is a different answer to his corny opening line."What's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?" I look up and therehe is. He's standing in the rain, but he doesn't have a coat. He's gotmy purse in his hand, and. The difference was that this day was supposed to be one of the most important of my life.*It had been a beautiful day for a wedding. The sun had shone, the sky bright, the registry office Victorian, old and romantic.I stood in the front row, my three-year-old daughter Leanne by my side, holding my hand. Her short, white dress contrasted perfectly with the olive-gold colour of her skin as Isobel, her half-sister passed by smiling happily.There was a great deal about the last few years that I did not want to remember. The accusations, the recriminations, the bad feelings that even now permeated my relationships with my ex-husband and children had been hard to bear, but in most cases, had been justified.But now, the worst of the divorce was over, and we had established a modus vivendi that was tolerable. Well, nearly tolerable. The kids no longer boycotted the flat I shared with my daughter Leanne, I saw my grandchildren no less frequently than Pete, and we were more than civil whenever.
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