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There are several stages of grief and I blew through them in a matter of seconds. I probably skipped over some, but I was grieving for myself and grieving for the future, or my lack thereof, so maybe the rules are a bit different.I had, I realized, already been in denial. I got angry for a few moments, at Carl, at Ronnie, at myself, at God, even at the guys who built the building. It passed.I was set to try bargaining with Carl, but one look at his face and I knew it would be a waste of time. I'd tried to lie to him already, and I had nothing with which to bargain. I decided to keep what dignity I had.The depression took a minute or so to move through as Ronnie began to work desperately on my still soft penis. I say penis here, because it was as if it was someone else's. I felt detached from the situation. Perhaps I was going through a little more denial.Soon though, I came to grips with the end of my life. I was no saint, to be sure. I had little respect for wedding vows, but I tried. It was just a pool, fed as its’ name suggests by a spring. The water was always beautifully clear, deep enough to dive into, shallow enough to stand, in places. We’d enjoyed many a summers day splashing around there.“Yeah great, shall we take a picnic?” I replied.“Oooh very civilised” Dan teased, again pushing me.Saturday morning and Dan arrived on her bike, it was a new hybrid racer/mountain bike. I got out my old beat up, scavenged bike, no brakes, no gears etc. Slung on my back-pack and of we set. It was a long bike ride away. Dan used her bike to full potential, leaving me trailing behind, then like a good friend waiting for me. We eventually arrived at our destination. Neither of us had been here for years. It hadn’t changed much, a bit more overgrowth but other than that it was as we remembered it, peaceful and secluded. We dismounted and sat on a bank of grass high above the water, dangling our feet over the edge.“I’m starving” I told Dan “Let’s break out the grub”. Dan.
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