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But I don't understand why you are asking me this right now. Aren't you trying to break up with me? And would you stop that, for heaven's sake?"Steven grabbed my hands and physically prevented me from getting any further down than the third button. I had a lot of cleavage exposed, but that was all.I allowed him to hold my hands, and he didn't let go. It felt nice, I reflected briefly."Tell me what's going on. Please?"He was pleading now. I knew if I looked into his eyes I'd start crying again. I wondered if I'd made a mistake, but recognized it was too late to do anything about it."Look, Steven, there's a reason we can't be together. I don't even know how to start to explain it to you. I do love you," and my voice cracked, just slightly, as I admitted it again, "but I can't be with you. I want you to make love to me. You'll understand after, I promise. I need you to trust me, just for a little while."I steeled myself and met his gaze, his eyes searching my face. The frown and deep. I explained that I didn’t want to be burdened with a relationship where I would make a commitment to be faithful to the one woman should I marry her. I admitted to her that I had engaged in a few one night stands with some of the drivers.She laughed and said, “I know, that is no secret. In fact, one asked me if you had put the hard word on me, and do you know what my reply was?”I was waiting for her response.“I wish.”I was taken back at her forthrightness and asked.“Did you really mean that?”“To be honest. Yes. I have often wondered what it would be like with you. The woman drivers are not always that discreet. Some are quite brazen about discussing their experiences in bed with you. I have heard them in the toilet comparing notes and have often wondered when you would ask me.”I made a mental note. If they hadn’t left my employ already, they soon would be. My turnover was quite high and they would no longer be sharing my bed.“I have feelings for you I cannot fathom, and my feelings.
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