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Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.Better wait outside. Be right back.Cooter"These are compliments of Larry--A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.The first boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're going steady, is she ready?"The farmer called Betty and she and Eddie went on their way.The second boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?"The farmer called Flo and she and Joe went on their way.The third boy arrived in an old beat up pickup, came to the door and said: "Hi, I'm Chuck"The farmer shot him.A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains. ” She almost said it and then remembered her mother’s reaction to the phrase. I didn’t mind finishing it for her, though.“Knock you up,” I said, slowly. “Yes. The purpose to making you wait is so you’ll have more experience and maturity and be able to make better decisions. If you refuse to do that, then you’ll be like millions of other girls who jump in without thinking about it and, sometimes, suffer the consequences.”“How is that loving me, exactly?” she asked.“We give you good advice,” I said. “If you ignore it, then at least you won’t get pregnant by some pimple-faced kid, because you’ll already be pregnant with my baby.”“You are so full of shit, Bob,” she groaned.“Maybe,” I said.“No maybe about it,” she said. “You’re either full of shit, or crazy as a loon. And I know you’re not crazy, so that leaves the other. But I get it. You’re trying to scare me away. Where’d that baby stuff come from? Are you freaked out about Mom letting you do that to her?”I couldn’t bullshit this girl..
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